


Somebody Come Get Her

by mitigates



Series: AU One Shots [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Meeting, Alternate Universe, I hate tags, Iwaizumi gets a lap dance, Lapdance, M/M, Oikawa is a frigging king, bokuaka if you squint, iwaoi - Freeform, stripper oikawa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2020-07-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:40:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25599703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mitigates/pseuds/mitigates
Summary: Bokuto, Kuroo, and Hinata take Iwaizumi to a strip club: a lap dance from the King ensues.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Series: AU One Shots [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1824652
Comments: 6
Kudos: 177





	Somebody Come Get Her

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know what this is other than me feeding my IwaOi obsession.

“Gentlemen, have we got a treat for you tonight. We have a bachelor party in the house, our city's very own Most Eligible Bachelor is about to break a lot of hearts and get married.” A collective groan rippled throughout the club. “Tonight is the last night our master of disaster will be dancing, please lead your eyes to the stage for  _ King _ .”

“This is going to be uhhhmazing!” Kuroo said in a sing-song voice, he tapped against the tabletop excitedly.

“I hear he’s the best- like in the country.”

“How many strip clubs have you been to that you would know who the best stripper in the country is, Bokuto?” Iwaizumi asked as he crossed his arms in pure defiance at the entire situation. He stated several times that he didn’t want to go to a strip club and somehow, they still ended up at a strip club.

Kuroo snorted in response. “You don’t want to know.”

“You really don’t.” Bokuto threw Iwaizumi a grin as he leaned back in his VIP chair.

“Bo took me to my first one!” Hinata said casually as if he wasn’t a day over 21.

“Your first  _ good _ one. None of the strip clubs you can get into at 18 are any good here. You have to wait until you’re 21 and the one we went to last week-” Bokuto pushed his thumb against his pointer and middle finger and kissed them. “-was a  _ good _ one.”

“What constitutes a good strip club?” Iwaizumi asked, looking around for the exits.

“So many things, Hajime!” Kuroo answered.

“So many things. “ Bokuto nodded in agreement. “Whether or not they serve alcohol. Whether it’s full nude or not-”

“Which of those is good?” Iwaizumi asked out of pure curiosity.

“Never go to a full nude strip club. It’s demeaning.” Kuroo said in a low voice, his face as serious as his tone.

“The hours that they’re open. Their Yelp reviews-”

“You can Yelp a strip club?” Iwaizumi snorted.

“You can Yelp  _ anything _ .” Bokuto confirmed.

The lights dimmed and Iwaizumi sighed. He would be able to get out of there whenever the dancer started, the guys would definitely be distracted even if the dancer wasn’t any good. He had every plan to go straight home and sleep.

He turned his head at the soft clack of heels against the stage. Iwaizumi’s eyes raked up long milky legs that were clad in 6 inch black stilettos. A white silk robe landed softly against the middle of his thighs, the soft belt tied tight around his waist. He was wearing a matching white mask with solid gold crows adorning the top of his high sculpted cheekbones. Iwaizumi’s breathing, for all accounts and purposes, stopped as he watched the tall man saunter toward the end of the stage. He turned toward Iwaizumi’s group and flashed them a life changing smile. 

“Who’s the lucky man?” 

Iwaizumi just stared in response.

Bokuto and Kuroo snorted loudly, nudging each other as they had a short and silent conversation. They each put a hand on one of Iwaizumi’s shoulders. “He is!”

Iwaizumi didn’t even realize what was happening until the music started and the dancer’s eyes were locked on his and only his. He didn’t move once, he leaned against the cushioned chair and watched  _ King  _ move. The man was dancing to a song about  _ blowjobs _ but the way he was moving, Iwaizumi didn’t even hear any of the words. 

“ _ I’m so addicted to all the things you do when you’re going down on me in between the sheets~ _ ” Kuroo and Bokuto sang the song happily as they leaned against each other, poised to start sloppily making out but stopping as they knew their significant others each had a sixth sense.

The middle of the song hit and  _ King’s _ robe slipped off. He was facing away from Iwaizumi when he untied it, letting the silk belt drop against his thighs. He eased the rope off of his shoulders and Iwaizumi had to remember how to function again as he watched the creamy colored material land soundlessly against the stage.  _ King _ gently kicked the rope toward Iwaizumi and somehow he managed to catch it, clutching the robe in a vice grip.

_ King _ revealed tight black shorts that were basically strings on the sides alongside a bondage-type lingerie top that Iwaizumi wanted to remove with his mouth-  _ wait, what _ ?

He started moving on the pole at the end of the stage, gripping it with both hands as his body slid down it. Iwaizumi was struck. Something about him was just...he was struck.

Kuroo and Bokuto were giggling like children as they watched Iwaizumi watch  _ King _ . They never had been too sure of Iwaizumi’s sexuality, but with the way his cheeks were flushed and his mouth was just slightly hanging open, it was obvious who he was into that night.

“Should we leave you two alone?” Kuroo asked as he elbowed Iwaizumi in his side.

Bokuto turned toward their shorter friend. “I don’t think he’s- Kuroo, he isn’t listening to us.”

Kuroo snorted and waved at Iwaizumi, earning zero reaction. “I guess  _ King _ really is the best.”

Iwaizumi knew his friends were talking but he wasn’t hearing a word they said. The only thing he could hear was  _ King _ breathing. 

“ _ Oh, the sounds you make- with every breath you take, It’s unlike anything when you’re loving me-” King _ expertly slid down the pole, his long untanned legs wrapped around it. His shoulders hit the stage before he rolled backward, landing directly in front of Iwaizumi who was no longer sitting but leaning against the stage, his hands gripping the edge of it.

“Hi.” As expected,  _ King’s  _ voice was as silky as the lingerie he was wearing, spoken in a breathy whisper as he looked back at Iwaizumi. As the song finished,  _ King _ came to a stop at the edge of the stage, extending each long leg on either side of Iwaizumi who still hadn’t moved. “Bachelor gets a complimentary dance, follow me.”

_ King _ slid off of the stage and offered his hand.

Bokuto and Kutoo giggled loudly as they watched Iwaizumi robotically follow  _ King _ . “Are we going to tell them he isn’t the bachelor?” Kuroo asked, tapping his fingers against his chin.

“Absolutely not. Come on, I want a dance too!” Hinata said turning toward the stage again without hesitation. “I’m planning on getting laid tonight, not watching Iwaizumi get a stripper boner.”

Bokuto snorted out a laugh, always surprised by the endless sexual energy that hid deep inside of Hinata. “The blonde one is coming out next.”

Hinata’s eyes lit up like a kid on Christmas, except it wasn’t Christmas and he was now waiting for the mustard-blonde hair to make an appearance.

_ King _ released Iwaizumi’s hand and pointed at a plush dark red couch that was situated in the middle of the room. “Do you mind if I choose the music?” Iwaizumi shook his head dumbly.

The soft interlude of Bryson Tiller filled the room.  _ King _ watched Iwaizumi watching him for a moment before moving toward him. “Where’s your ring?”

Iwaizumi swallowed thickly and cleared his throat, not quite understanding the question. “My  _ what _ ?”

_ King _ scoffed and swung one leg over Iwaizumi’s thicker thighs, settling himself on top of him. “It’s my last night here so I’m going to be honest with you and you’ll be honest with me, okay?” Iwaizumi nodded dumbly, again. “Are you getting off on this?”

Iwaizumi’s eyebrows furrowed. “Like...right now? Or later?”

_ King _ smirked. “Either.”

“Probably later.” Iwaizumi answered without a second to think about how honest he was going to be.

“Hm.”  _ King _ rotated his hips in circles, pushing against Iwaizumi’s growing hardness. “Where’s your ring? Planning on having some last minute fling and trying to feel less guilty about it?”

Iwaizumi took a moment to answer, not because he was thinking but because he was stuck feeling nothing but  _ King’s _ fingertips sliding down his chest then circling back up to his neck. He tilted Iwaizumi’s head back until he was laying it against the back of the couch

“What- what ring?”

_ King _ rolled his eyes, running one of his hands down Iwaizumi’s toned shoulder and across his arm, finally landing on his left hand. He pulled Iwaizumi’s hand and placed it against the silk stretching across his chest. “This ring.”

“I’m not the bachelor.” Iwaizumi blurted out.

_ King _ moved Iwaizumi’s hand to his hip. “You’re not?”

“No, uh- my friend is. My friend Bokuto. He’s marrying Akaashi. Kuroo came, he’s his best man. Hinata came because he wanted to see the blonde one dance.” Iwaizumi said the names as if  _ King _ had any idea who he was referring to.

_ King _ narrowed his eyes slightly, leaning forward to whisper in Iwaizumi’s ear. “I don’t know who any of these people are.”  _ King _ dragged his fingernails down Iwaizumi’s chest, eliciting a short gasp from the latter.

Iwaizumi nodded, using all of his willpower to not come right there and then.

_ “ _ _ Do all I can just to show you you're special, certain it's your love that holds me together- _ ”

_ King  _ spun around, pushing his slim hips back, his ass grinding against Iwaizumi’s pelvis. A deeper gasp that might have morphed into a low groan if  _ King  _ hadn’t stopped. “So, got a girlfriend?”

Iwaizumi opened his eyes, not even realizing he had closed them, and stared at the back of  _ King’s  _ head. “I’m gay.”

“I can feel that.”  _ King _ had the smuggest look on his face as his fingers dug into the insides of Iwaizumi’s thighs. “What’s your name?”

“Iwa- Iwa-” An actual groan escaped his lips. 

“Iwa, huh.”

“No- No, it’s- fuck. What are  _ doing _ -”

_ King  _ couldn’t help the giggle that escaped as he flattened his back against Iwa’s chest, wiggling his hips in short bursts, his own erection straining against his tight shorts. That usually didn’t happen during a dance,  _ King  _ prided himself on his never ending immense amount of self control. It seems he had let it diminish as he found himself panting on top of Iwa. He pulled Iwa’s hands over his hips, his tan fingers stark against  _ King’s _ inner thighs. He splayed his hands on  _ King’s _ thighs, his thumbs just barely hooking unde the bottom of  _ King’s  _ shorts. 

The song wasn’t even halfway over and they were both panting heavily, sweat starting to form under  _ King’s _ mask. Iwaizumi screwed his eyes shut and reaffirmed his promise to not move his hands unless  _ King _ did.

_ King _ leaned forward, sliding Iwa’s hands off of him and letting them fall against the couch..

“ _ If you were mine you would not get the same, if you were mine you would top everything _ -”

_ King _ placed his hands on Iwa’s knees and ground back against Iwa. He turned slightly and glanced back at him, revelling in how Iwa’s eyes hungirly took in every inch of his long body.  _ King _ nodded his head slightly toward the top he was wearing. “Take this off, Iwa.”

Iwaizumi somehow gained the feeling back in his fingers as he undid each clasp, groaning again as it fell to the floor near silently. He looked up at  _ King _ , forcing his eyes to stay open. “Take that off.”

“Hmm?”  _ King _ assumed he meant the shorts which he was absolutely not about to do, but Iwa’s eyes were on his mask. The mask he always wore, the mask he had never taken off for a client, the mask that doubled as his protection. “You take it off.”  _ King _ found himself saying. He leaned back against Iwa, rolling his head back onto his shoulder.

Iwa’s fingers shouldn’t have felt as good as they did sliding up  _ King’s _ bare stomach. They shouldn’t have felt as soft as they did, leaving a searing path in the wake of his touch. It was nearly more than  _ King  _ could handle, but he was a professional. He slid his hands up  _ King’s  _ abdomen, straight up the middle as  _ King _ watched. Both of his hands touched either side of  _ King’s _ face, sliding through his hair more than needed in order to reach the tie in the back. Iwa unlooped it and lifted the mask off of his face.

To say  _ King _ felt exposed was an understatement. He immediately turned to distraction, knocking the mask out of Iwa’s hands. He yanked on Iwa’s wrists, placing his warm palms against his hips. “Touch me, Iwa.” The words broke out of  _ King’s  _ mouth in a gentle whisper.

Iwaizumi gripped  _ King’s _ hip with one hand, the other sliding across his jaw to turn his face. ”Let me see you.”

_ King _ turned and Iwa found himself breathless for the 97th time that night. “Fuck.” 

“Shut up.”  _ King _ turned away before Iwa could see the redness spreading, the blush that wasn’t from the heat spreading across his body. At least that’s what  _ King _ told himself.  _ King _ ground against Iwa, hard and slow.

“ _ H-Town got me feeling so throwed, spit fire and the world so cold- _ ”

The song ended with  _ King _ sweating and panting between Iwa’s legs, his knees on the floor and his cheek pressed against Iwa’s now shirtless stomach. 

“Wow.” 

The words came from  _ King’s _ mouth as a surprise to both of them.  _ King _ lifted his head and glanced at Iwa. His face was flushed more than it had been the time that they were in there. Granted the song was chopped up and slowed down, but they had still been in the room less than 10 minutes. They were both sweating and panting as if they’d run a marathon.  _ King _ readjusted himself and leaned his back against the couch, moving to the side of Iwa. He flicked the other man’s leg. “Who wears jeans to a strip club?”

Iwa blinked back into existence. He shook his head and leaned forward, his elbow landing on his knees. He turned toward  _ King _ . “It’s my first time and I told my friends 11 times that I didn’t want to go to a strip club.”

“What’s wrong with strip clubs?”  _ King _ asked without an ounce of offense in his voice.

“Nothing is wrong with them, I just wasn’t in the mood.”

“Are you in the mood now?”

“The only thing I’m in the mood to do is take you home.” Iwaizumi admitted, picking up his shirt.

“Oh, aren’t we forward? At least buy me dinner first.”

“I’m fine with that too. I know a place.”

_ King _ turned toward him with raised eyebrows. “You were serious.” Iwaizumi nodded. “You don’t even know my name.”

“Then tell me your name.” Iwaizumi responded with ease.

“What’s your first name?”

“Hajime. And it’s Iwaizumi, not Iwa.”

_ King  _ shrugged. “I prefer Iwa.” He caught Hajime’s eye. “Tooru Oikawa.”

Iwaizumi’s mouth quirked into a small smile. “It’s nice to meet you.” He held his hand out and Tooru stared at it for a moment.

“Hajime.” Tooru squeezed his hand in response. He followed Hajime’s movements as he pulled his shirt on until his eyes got stuck between Hajime’s legs.

“You-”

“No.”

“Yes, you-”

“No as in we are not talking about it.” Hajime said as he crossed his arms and stared at the wall. Tooru laughed, airy and light, forcing a smile onto Hajime’s face whether he liked it or not. Tooru stood, wobbling just barely from being on his knees. Hajime reached forward and caught his hand. “So...dinner?”

“You need to change first.”

“That’s talking about it.” Hajime grumbled.

Tooru laughed again, moving his hand over his mouth as it spread into a giggle. Tooru pulled Hajime against him as he stood between his jean clad legs. Hajime pressed his forehead against Tooru’s abdomen, ignoring the musk scent of their sweat mixing together. He breathed in deep. Tooru smelled like oranges and chocolate. Hajime voiced that thought.

Tooru smiled as he put his fingers through Hajime’s flattened hair. “Lotion.” Tooru sighed and reached for Hajime’s hand to lift him. “Come with me, I’m sure I have something you can change into.” Tooru practically skipped down the hall at the thought of big strong Iwa in a pair of his leather shorts, bursting at the seams.


End file.
